I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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