Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
