I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
