We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Houston, we have a blender
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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