Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
