I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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