Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Remember that time you hooked up with him?

Fav 7 1006 1661
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(563): View more from Iowa

Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties

Fav 16 5616 1299
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(607): View more from New York

Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.

Fav 10 2397 814
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.

Fav 3 1657 1446
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(954): View more from Florida

My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??

Fav 7 2151 771
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(914): View more from New York

2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.

Fav 26 2141 1138
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(956): View more from Texas

I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town

Fav 0 933 539
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.

Fav 0 529 407
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.

Fav 0 46 13
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