we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
