i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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