I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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