Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Randomize
