like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize