My sheets look like a crime scene.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
