): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
