dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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