Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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