i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
