I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
