Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Success! We fucked roommates!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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