Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
