plz talk dirty to me
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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