Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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