i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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