its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
