just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
