Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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