i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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