She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
