PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
