Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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