we have pet lesbian snakes
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
