I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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