I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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