I want to stick my p in your. b.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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