how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
They left me at home... I'm a liability
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
