I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
