I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
