My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
