once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
