if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
