you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
