took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
