Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
