I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize