her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
