so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
