belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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