Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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