Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
