Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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