yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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