I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
cat food counts as protein by the way
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
