im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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