I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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