At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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