Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
