Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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