We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
