I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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