i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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