she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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