u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
