cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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