Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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