I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
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