508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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