i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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