That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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